Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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