It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
