Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
