Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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