his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.