I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So squirting runs in the family.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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