Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.

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  (212): I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth. http://tfl.nu/x3q1
  Replies (13) Good night (6767) Bad night (921)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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  (205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7
  Replies (25) Good night (6910) Bad night (1216)
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  (805): View more from California

  I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

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  (805): I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something. http://tfl.nu/b077
  Replies (15) Good night (4827) Bad night (1263)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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  (763): The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins. http://tfl.nu/k74l
  Replies (8) Good night (2691) Bad night (924)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.

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  (905): I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out. http://tfl.nu/0m9y
  Replies (7) Good night (2513) Bad night (793)
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  (831): View more from California

  tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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  (831): tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better http://tfl.nu/2cpz
  Replies (3) Good night (1780) Bad night (568)
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  (707): View more from California

  I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once

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  (707): I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once http://tfl.nu/s42e
  Replies (6) Good night (1023) Bad night (1136)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Was who let the dogs out playing?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ya. You started barking when it ended

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  (708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8
  Replies (4) Good night (2034) Bad night (575)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success

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  (207): I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success http://tfl.nu/d8wt
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (1283)
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  (+33): View more from France

  If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.

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  (+33): If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/f909
  Replies (6) Good night (2317) Bad night (511)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.

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  (703): I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree. http://tfl.nu/r6v0
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (325)
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  (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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  (212): When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones. http://tfl.nu/g2sl
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (845)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night

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  (903): The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night http://tfl.nu/e4l5
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (282)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

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  (616): Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice. http://tfl.nu/gq92
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (201)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER

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  (952): OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER http://tfl.nu/m7io
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (544)

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