Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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