i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.