i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
operation have a gay friend backfired
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?