i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
