U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..