He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.