She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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