Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
