I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
