Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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