so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
