Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
