Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
