Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
