fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
