tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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