peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize