Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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