i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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