So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize