Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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