i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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