His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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