so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
