I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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