i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
