From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
