I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
