I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize