Kiss
Puke
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
