Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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