You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
