Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
