tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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