But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize