my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
