Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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