end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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