i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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