a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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