so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize