six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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