i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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