Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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