and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
