Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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