You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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