I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
