Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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