My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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