strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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