And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
