i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
