Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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