Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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