Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize