Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
