you guys were way drunker than both of me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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