Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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