then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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