yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
