do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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