went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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