Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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